Packing..

...for our Mini vacation to San Diego. A little bit in stress as I have to keep the little ones entertained at the same time and also make sure that they are quiet enough so that Leaving this afternoon when Cassie comes home from school, and we're going to be gone until Monday night. We have four fun-filled days ahead of us for a special birthday weekend especially for Cassandra, but I'm sure that the rest of us will have a great time too!

I don't know if I'll be able to write and post much during our time away, normally when we get back to the hotel, it takes some time getting the kids in the bath and in bed and then it's normally late and has to be quiet. We don't have heavy sleepers in our house, and with hotel stays we know that they don't sleep good, so I don't think that I'll have time for the blog.

But, when we get back home I can assure you that I'll have PLENTY of pictures and stories to share with you!

In case I'll be absent, have a great weekend!!

Movietime!

Isabella soon got company on the couch the other day. While she was occupied with the books, Ben had been in Cassie's room pulling out all her movies - again, and happily came running to tell us that he really wanted to watch The Fox and The Hound. (Waving the movie in the air and panting like a dog that is....) Dogs are good. A good change from watching Santa Paws and Frosty the snowman for the last couple of months....

Storytime!

I just love when I catch my kids reading. Not because I told them too, or because I took out some books and read for them or because they were fighting over the same one laying on the table for instance.

No, I mean when they do it on their own. When I find one of them sitting totally in their own world (the magic world of fairy tales?) and looking, turning page after page and reading out loud not even bothering about what is going on around them. Like on these pictures above. These I took from the other room and she didn't even notice me.

Especially Isabella I see every other day taking out lots of books out of their book box in the living room. She sits right there by the box, no need to get on the couch with them, no right there is the action. She comments on the pages, makes sounds and copies the animals or other things. Even a giggle here and there, when she sees something funny! This is something new - the giggling over a book showing that she really understands the jokes or that the pictures are funny. I love it!

After reading so many books, she had a short rest on the sofa!

Art Work!

My kids have always liked to draw. Cassie has always been an artist and was very early with her details and her eye for proportions. It's funny now also to see that Benjamin and Isabella also have interest in drawing and they are sometimes coloring in their coloring books and sometimes on blank paper.

While using the coloring books, we practice words and colors at the same time. Can you color the shoes green? Show me how you can color her hair brown! What color does the frog have? Can you color the sun yellow? These are the kind of conversations that we have after breakfast when the drawing mostly takes part. Mostly the color isn't right when they pick them out, but almost always they color the right thing in the book, so they have a lot of words in their vocabulary already. And practice makes perfect! I have started to also say all these kind of sentences in Swedish - I HAVE to get better in consistency with the Swedish, but it's so easy to fall back into English. But at least here they can combine learning with playtime - always a plus!

 Ben getting started at his masterpiece....

With two hands and two crayons, 

you can cover so much more of the paper in much shorter time!

 So concentrated!

It's very fun to see their different styles. Ben is using his crayons in big motions, covering a lot of the paper, keeps the crayon on the paper and actually already use the circle motion of his hand while drawing. 

Isabella is so much more into the detail. Makes small motions, at the moment more straight lines and up and down motion, not so much round shapes yet. Likes to try out lots of colors. Uses small thin crayons just as good as the big thick ones, where Ben likes the thicker ones the best. 

I've not been doing a great job so far keeping all their artwork, but I have now decided to get them an Art folder each and start putting their different drawings in. I'm thinking that at least a couple every month. It will be fun to follow and see the changes in their style and shapes and later details and when they start drawing a head with legs and arms...It will be great to see how their development keeps up. I can then also on the back of the drawing write what it is especially when they start speaking more, what color they could name at the time etc...This will be fun - instead of just keeping them on the fridge..I have no drawings at all from when I was a child, and I wish that there would be anything kept. I know that you can't keep everything, but something would have been great to have as a piece of your childhood.

How do you document and save your kid's Art work? Do you keep everything? What about "everything else" except the drawings. Like hand made necklaces, clay animals, decorations etc etc when they are older? Keep in a box somewhere? With a creative child and with lots of drawings and all kind of "presents" that she has made through out the years, I don't know what I'd be doing with it all. Some special art work I've saved of course, Mothers Day cards etc etc, but with the bigger items it's difficult. Thankfully you can always take photos and save those from all of it, and that's what I do sometimes. I should get around to file it though. Now it's all under pictures and what month and year. But not a special folder for Cassie school projects or art work for instance. It should be added to a "Must do list..." like so much else!

Cassie's latest masterpiece. The Giant Saguaro Cactus. March 2012. 

She worked with wax crayons and glue (!) to create this picture! Creative!

Shoe Shopping!

I want to find good sandals for the little ones, as they now only have tennis shoes, and they really need shoes that are more summer friendly. But, I don't want any kind of sandals. I want them to have a closed toe and a very flexible rummer sole, no flip flop like shoes or thin hard soles.

I want them to be able to run around and NOT hurting their toes and nails, that's why I want closed toes on the sandals. There are so many options of sandals with open toe, but that's not what I'm looking for.  I've seen kids running around with flip flops and Crocs in the playgrounds and in stores and sometimes I wonder what people think. Flip flops might be airy and nice in warm weather for everyone, but if the kids are supposed to run around playing, riding bikes, kicking soccer balls etc etc, they need good shoes. And as the weather here is hot/warm all year around, tennis shoes gets too hot for them to play in.

The kids need to be able to run, climb and bend without slipping, falling or hurting their feet walking. Play friendly and comfortable are the key words - not fancy or pretty. With that said, of course I'd like to find some that are good looking too, but that isn't the priority!

It's not easy to find good ones. Of course there are many good ones out there but the better the quality, the higher the price too. With 2 little ones that will change shoe size maybe 2-3 times this long summer season (does it ever end?), I have to consider what's an absolute must or what is a "would like to have". So, shopping around is wise to do, I'm not willing to spend $40 or more for ONE pair of some name brand sandals when there might be similar ones for less than half the price. And with twins and like I said changing sizes soon, it's not worth the money.

These from Jumping Beans for Ben are exactly what I'm looking for!

Same brand for girls, the only color options they had.

The shoes from Jumpin Beans above are a little bit pricey, but guess what I found at Target online for half the price of the above sandals:

And I even like these better! I love the colors! Can it get any better? Yes it can!!! By check out, you get 50% off one pair if you buy two pairs!! Sometimes you have luck and with twins you need to get two of everything so these kind of deals are very much welcome!! Keep 'em coming!

Now all I have to do is to go to Target and try them on the kids. The deal doesn't work in store, big minus, but atleast I can be sure to get the right sizes and especially if the sandal is wide enough for Ben that tend to have a little wider foot. I've seen the Jumping Beans shoes and they were wide enough, and these shoes seem to be the same, I hope so! I have to check them out in person if they will do the job or not. Another big plus would be if they can be machine washed. We don't live by the beach, but we'll try for sure to go as often as we can (2 1/2 hours away) this summer, and if the kids can even use them at the beach and that they can stand getting wet that would be great!

Sun- & Fun Glasses

Aren't they just adorable!? When we went shopping the other day, I finally found sunglasses for Benjamin and Isabella that were "tight fitting". Many sunglasses are way too big and falls down or doesn't protect the eyes at all, and I was happy to find these, that were actually also 100% UVB and UVA protection and not just cute..

At this picture the flash hadn't warmed up yet, and the quality isn't the best, but as Ben is giving away one of his rare (on picture that is) big smiles I post it anyway!

Cassie's glasses are obviously not sunglasses, but she had hers in the car and wanted to wear something for the pictures, and they turned out good with the colorful glasses. Ben doesn't leave his on that much yet, but we are still practicing, as the sun is so strong here and they will need to get use to wearing them. Cassie still needs a good pair too, until then she'll borrow one of mine here and there.

Isabella even put her sunglasses up with her pointer in the middle like she would be so used to them. She really loves hers, "petty" as she says, and then with some bling on the sides....

The afternoon sun is strong even with dark sunglasses. Look how Isabella is squinting her eyes behind her shades?

My trio ready for a late afternoon walk with Charlie! Almost 90F/32C and bright blue skies!

Daddy's Helpers

On Thursday, when Chris was off work, we had time to go shopping in the morning before the new water heater was supposed to be installed at 1pm. Anyway, we spent time in Target and I found lots of good stuff which I can't talk about as it's supposed to be sent in a package soon!

As I talked about another time, the Mall here is very different from what's "normal" in my opinion. Here it's not one big building but here there are all independent stores next to each other, but you have to go in and out every store in the front door, they are not connected. Not easy with a double stroller and it makes it very hard for me to go the the so called Mall with the kids on my own. Now when Chris was here, we could take them in their little "leashes" which works very well especially around a lot of people. We looked for shoes for the twins and after some looking around in different stores, we also headed for Sams Club. We certainly had a filled up car coming home from that trip, loaded up with lots of food but also with some unplanned boxes.

Chris got some great help putting it all together later in the afternoon, and I'm so happy with how it turned out. I'll show you pictures later, when everything is finished!

What's Wrong With People?

My last entry was quite depressing, and I'm sorry for poring it all out there, but when you're sad and alone and write at 2am in the morning a lot of the normal filter isn't activated and a lot of feelings are put on paper that I normally don't share here on the blog. Re reading it, I was thinking of deleting it, but as dear friends already had commented on it I decided not to take it away, as it's all true - a little bit too much to share maybe, but still very much me.

So what made me so upset yesterday, what was it that just made me have enough? Last night was just one of those nights were small incidents that got to me just kept piling up and I just couldn't believe what happened around me and especially why it was that way.

I consider myself to be a pretty good person. One that comes with of course many faults here and there, just like any other normal person, but still rather nice, helpful, polite, considerate and with a big heart. Somehow, it must somehow not come across that way. Somehow people just seem to see me differently, someone not worth recognizing, not worth helping or even responding to? Somewhere, I must have gone wrong.

I've gone far and beyond to try to get Cassie involved and engaged in friendships after her rough start here in Yuma. We had this nice girl Gloria, that unfortunately had to move just after the two of them hit it off really good. So typical. Anyway, then we have this other newly found friendship with A in Cassie's class. We invited her to Chucky E. Cheese and she also was here for a play date last Saturday, that I wrote about here on the blog. The girls had such a great time and they seemed to get along very well.

Anyway, the mother of this girl is a woman hard to understand. Or it's just me, I soon don't know anymore. I've called her many times, texted her many times about play dates for the girls and she never calls or texts back. When we went to A's house to pick her up last week - as planned at 5pm, with that meaning that her mother had agreed that we pick her up at 5pm and knew that we were coming- her mother wouldn't come to the door. I asked A to please go and get her mom, as I wanted to meet her and introduce myself. I think that is a pretty normal thing to do, especially as our girls now seem to have found each other and want to play more often.

Well, even if A went inside the house to talk to her mom, the mom doesn't show up. At this time the younger sister wanted to come too. She is probably around 4 years old, cries and screams and A tries to pull her by her arm into the house and close the door, which the younger sister opens right away and comes running out. Of course we couldn't just leave and have her chasing after us. This went on for maybe 5 minutes, and I said to A can you please go and get your mom? Can't your mom come to the door and take care of your sister? The situation started to get ridiculous and I didn't know what to think. Poor A didn't know what to do either, I guess I can't come then she said..No but go and tell your mom to come to the door, I asked again in a little bit higher tone in hope that the mom might hear...

A walks inside again, third time, fourth time by now, I don't know I lost count.., and comes back again, with a stressed look and no my mom is busy hanging something on my wall. Well, that's the poorest excuse I've ever heard! Put down what you are doing and come to the door and meet the parent of the girl, in which house your daughter will be going to! Go to the door and meet the person that took your daughter in the car and invited her to Chucky E. Cheese the other week. Maybe even say thank you for that? No NOTHING! Aren't you interested to meet the parents to feel safe about your daughter going there and even in their car?? Apparently not.

I got really frustrated, not with the poor girl but with the situation and said that we would really like to have you over, but we can't stand outside your door anymore, we have to take the dog back to his owner (we had now for sure been outside the door around 15 minutes). Then A pulls her sister by the arm inside the house, comes out, slams the door and says come let's go. I really didn't feel good about leaving like that, but we needed to leave! We hadn't gone more than 5 steps and the little girl runs out, but this time the older brother comes out after her - note NOT the mother! This was just ridiculous! 

Last night it was the same story. I had told Cassie that I didn't know how it would work out to go to the movie night with the little ones as Chris was working, but that she could ask A if she also wanted to come for the movie night in school. I would take them, drop them off, then go home with Benjamin and Isabella. Then Cassie could call me when the movie was over, and stay inside the gym while the teachers and PTO responsible persons were finishing up and I would call her back when I was outside in the car with the little ones and I wouldn't even have to take them out of the car seats..and Cassie and A could just walk straight out from the gym to the car. No problems! Right?! That's what we thought. She really wanted to come, and I told Cassie that she had to tell her mom to call me! Every time I've called her, she never called back, never picked up and lets it go straight to voice mail, but even never respond back later if she missed a call. 

Of course by 5pm, I still hadn't heard back. We were out with Charlie as always, and we decided to walk by her house again to see if she was coming or not. This time there weren't any parents at home. The kids were alone, the older brother at age 12 was supposed to watch them, I think that there is 4 kids younger than him to watch them, and the parents wouldn't be back until around 8pm. It's not my place to judge, but I must say that that seemed to be a lot to put on a 12 year old, considering the time of night. Dinner? Baths? Bedtime?

A didn't know if she could come or not, her mom hadn't told her. Call her she said, well, I've tried, but she doesn't answer. I told her that maybe if you call her from another phone that you normally use to call her on when she's working or not at home, she might pick up?? 

No, we don't have another phone to call with, and we can't call when they are at work. Strange, strange strange. What if there is an emergency?? Of course there must be a way that the kids could reach their parents? This is just not right. Anyway, both Cassie and A were disappointed and I asked if they could maybe call the dad, but no luck there either. A went inside the house and a sister (?) came out and said that she can't come. That's it, door closed!

What to think? I don't know! I was just as upset as Cassandra, what's wrong with people??? I'm doing anything I can to be friendly, make it easy for the girls, let them play here, pick her daughter up, invites her to things with nothing in return. Not even an phone call to say that her daughter can't come!

Here I already had enough of people and how disrespectful some are - but even more was to come!

As Cassie was upset about this I told her that if she wanted she could ask Cole, one of the neighbors boys that she walks with to the school bus if he wanted to come or if his family maybe were going too? As they live just across the street, we rang the doorbell on the way home. I asked the mom if they were going or if not so, we'd be happy to take Cole. I'd bring them and maybe one of them could pick them up, as it would be difficult with the twins to stay during all of the movie. Well, I don't know, and I don't know what the plans are etc etc.. A yes, a no? No not really, I guess a no, and we went home.

Now after all this talking by the doors....time was running away, now being already around 5.30pm the movie was starting at 6.30pm and we'd have to eat dinner at home, get all ready and get the blankets, snacks and get everyone ready in the car drive there, unload the stroller, kids and stuff and get in the school....needless to say, stress!

Anyway, the movie night was a pretty good success with the kids as I wrote in the earlier post, but one thing that just made me have enough is that guess who was there? Cole and his family was sitting in the room in the very back and they didn't even say anything when I said hello like, yes we did decide to go after all or anything. Just like we didn't have the conversation at their door just an hour earlier. What made me so upset was that they decided to go and they knew that we were planning to go, but that I also had told her that it might be difficult for me to stay there with the twins, that I'd have to leave and pick up later and all..

With all this knowledge, they don't even bother to tell us that their plans have changed?! That Cassie would be welcome to come with them as they were now going? That they would be happy to at least take Cassie with them home if I had to leave earlier so that she could stay and finish the movie. NOTHING!

I just couldn't believe it! This was just too much!! When we did have to leave earlier, we passed right by them, they were sitting right there, looking at us, not really saying goodbye when I said it, only Cole tried to wave a little bit. Then they could at least have tried to offer or at least ask if Cassie wanted to stay with them?

After all,

-This is the family that asked if Cassie could please pick Cole up every morning by his door and walk with him to and from the bus stop. He is 2 years younger and understandably they didn't want him to walk alone. Of course we said yes of course! Why not help out? Why would that be a problem?

-This is the kids that ring our doorbell 15 times during the weekends wanting to play, that Cassie plays with and that I even invited to play in our yard, as they were always just hanging out in the drive way.

I got so upset that they didn't even offer, didn't even consider to help out when I needed help. I just can't understand what's with people here. Why is it like this? Why is it that I/we always try and try and give and give and never gets anything in return? Why does it have to be so difficult?? 

This is why it yesterday just got too much for me. I was so angry, upset and disappointed that I cried. I normally try never to do this in front of the kids, but sometimes you just can't stop yourself. I can't believe that all efforts everywhere never end up in anything good. It's hard to make lemonade when life gives you lemons - the only thing you want to do is to squeeze that lemon juice into their eyes....no that was harsh, yesterday I might have felt like that though!

So now for all of you out there - maybe especially you who are living abroad and have left friends and family behind.

What do you do? How do you cope? How do you make friends? Where do you find them? What do you think about all this?

pictures Google

Loneliness

Sometimes you've reached a point in life where you just can't take it any longer. Where the "trying to stay positive attitude" is slowly running out as the sand in a sand glass. I've turned this imaginary sand glass around over and over again in hope that things would change, that things would get better, that friendships might follow soon, just give it time and turn that glass around again and you'll see!

It was hard when I gave up my life in Sweden to move to the US in 2007. Not just to leave family behind, but to leave my friend behind. My best friend Linda, that had lived in the same town as me for the last 2 years. That I had spent weekends, evenings, holidays, birthdays and other holidays with. For some time we were even neighbors! Endless phone calls and I'll see you later. Meet you in town. Let's go shopping. Come over for dinner. Let's go for a movie. A friend that is as close to me as a sister, she's part of my family. 

I'm blessed to have two "sisters" that are NOT family in the real sense, but in every sense that counts! (I have one more that is not "sister by blood" but as she is my sister in law she's REAL family!) I love them dearly and couldn't imagine my life without them.

My other best friend Martina, I'm unfortunately "used to" not seeing and I have "learned" to only have contact with over Skype (thank goodness for Skype- that you finally can call around the world as much as you want without having to dread the phone bill every month!), emails, Facebook, and thankfully also over our blogs. We never lived close or even in the same country more than the year we met in Switzerland. That was 20 years ago... Still we can share our every day lives, see updated pictures of the other one, their families and children much easier nowadays than back in the day when we had to send "normal old fashion letters" to each other. Needless to say, even if we were always close, our staying in touch is much easier today than it's ever been.

It's so hard to have no one here. I have wonderful wonderful friends in my life, I'm maybe more blessed than most people, but they are not here. They are not with me. Not even close to me. Not even in the same town, state or country. Thousands of miles away, half around the world spread out in different countries, they are not here. Here were I need them to be so much sometimes that it hurts. I miss them so much!

I moved to North Carolina in 2007 and only had Chris and Cassie. But as it is being newly wed and busy with getting house and everything organized, it wasn't as bad with the missing part or the loneliness part. I had Chris, he was actually around then, working "normal" hours, at one time even Monday-Friday and coming home for dinner every night. We had a social life. His platoon had some really nice families and there was hardly a weekend where there wasn't a BBQ or party at someone's house. We had dinners and BBQ's at our house too, sometimes only a couple over for dinner and wine and life was good! Even if it wasn't my best friends - I had friends or at least we had a social life! Due to the lifestyle in the military, we had to move in the end of 2008 to Kansas, where we didn't know anyone. 

From not having best friends around, but still having my husband around and a social life, I went to no friends around- no husband around and no social life. Life was tough. It really wasn't easy, even if I many times tried to make it better than it was, but I was lonely - a lot. We did get to know lovely people that became our friends. Our dear neighbor adopted us and we her as our Kansas Grandma. Then the other couple next door, really nice and lovely people, but very different lifestyles stay with dinners here and there and plenty of help with the kids when needed. They were/are still great people, but not friends in the sense that I could go over and spill my heart out to them. Not friends that I could call and say, lets go shopping, lets go for a drink or something...

I didn't have any "girlfriends". During the second year in Kansas, I got pregnant with the twins and of course that changed a lot, my mind were set on the pregnancy and all the preparations and worries of carrying twins. A person is pretty lonely when they look forward to any doctor's appointment, and every kind word they get from nurses feels like you need to soak up, because you don't even have conversations with people every day. Chris was leaving the house around 7am and didn't come home until around 10pm. Many nights he came home later...The first year, he worked 7 days a week, same hours, the second and third year he tried to be off weekends, but maybe managed to be really off one weekend a month. 

Many days, I didn't talk to anyone except him over the phone a time or two. He was very busy, there was no hour long conversations or how are you doing? What's up? No if he called, he needed something! 2 minutes calls were pretty much the norm..I sometimes chitchatted with the other moms outside of school and some more than others, but there were never any closer friendships developed. It's difficult when people are working and you're not. When people have been living in this Midwest town since they were born, they know each and everyone in town, (not that big) and everyone already have their couples that they meet for dinners etc. We could never have joined anyway as you need to be two in a couple..and my other half was hardly ever there. 

Being pregnant and having the babies wasn't easy. He couldn't take months of leave that sometimes is the norm in Sweden for instance. That's just not reality here in the US, and certainly not in the military. He was supposed to get 10 days off when the babies were born, but as my mom was there we decided that he'd take half days of holiday and save the 10 days until I came home from the hospital etc. Well, he never got the 10 days. 

I went from being lonely, to being a lonely, stressed, overtired, sleep deprived nursing mother of twins with duty 24/7 with very little help. Chris helped out as much as he could when he was at home, but he wasn't able to be there a lot. A friend would have mattered so much, someone to come over and help out, just share breakfast with, have a coffee with, talk to in between all the baby stress, but I didn't have any friends or any family in town. I was lucky that my friend Linda came over for 10 days when the twins were only 1 Month old and my brother, sister in law and nieces came over later the same summer, but those days went by so fast, and of course they didn't just want to hang around my living room while I was nursing, putting the first baby to sleep, nursing nr.2 and putting nr.2 to sleep, then have about 30 minutes to an hour before it was time to start over again. That hour had to cover shower, eating, cooking, cleaning....

It was hard. Even if I of course loved and love my children over anything, it's still not always easy. You are not a bad parent just because you are tired and not happy all the time, and just because you crave some ME time...that time just never seem to happen or come around. That mark on the clock just seemed to pass by unnoticed.

When we stood before the move here to Arizona, I had my hopes up so much. So much was about to change, yes many stressful things too with the move and house etc, but we were going to be living on base again. Finally after 3 years in Kansas, without any other families or military, we would finally have the chance to belong to a community again. Living on base would be good housing, close to school, even if Cassie would need to be bussed, gym, playgrounds, hourly day care facilities and mother and baby groups etc would ALL be there. Finally I would have the chance to get some friends on my own. Get a social life. Be able to connect with people again. Be able to have neighbors and friends over, kids playing together and helping each other out. Dream? Yes maybe a little bit, but far from not being possible!

Did it turn out that way here in Yuma? NO. If you read my blog, you know that we didn't end up on base housing as they didn't have any houses available, and we ended up having to rent a house at the other side of town, the outskirts outside city limits. 30 minutes highway to everything. All of a sudden all my dreams of belonging, finding friends and having a social life started to crumble piece by piece. 

In the beginning it was stress pure and no time for even thinking about missing friends here or ME-time. Moving, living in a hotel, house hunting, moving in, Christmas, the kids got sick-really sick and were sick for a month, then in February all the drama and focus on Cassandra and school work and bullying. Trying my best to find friends for her, trying my best to keep her spirit up every night when she was crying missing her friends and all the familiar old stuff. 

Now, when another month has almost passed by, there has been a lot of changes and things going on at Chris's work and a lot of focus has been on him and all that. Trying to adjust to him working nights and still not being able to spend time with the family and have some help with the house and the kids. He leaves at 2.30pm and comes home the next morning at 7am. Then he sleeps until around 2pm, and well you do the math, he leaves at 2.30pm so it doesn't leave much time for family time does it? We were looking forward to the night shift going to it's end when it was time for him to go on day shift after around 2 months of nights. Well, just a week before the switch, he had to change platoon and fill a spot for someone else, and that shift was the day shift. So you see what's coming? He worked day shift about a week with them, and then now today when the platoons are switching from days to nights and vice versa, he's back on nights for another 2 months....

So no help, no relieve in sight. And - no friends in sight. Make friends you might think. Yes, I'd love too. But, being along with the kids all the time, having to be the one making sure that their meals and nap times are taken into consideration every day, and in between making sure that the house stays clean and everything else runs smoothly, supervising homework and everything that has to do with school, which is a lot!

There isn't any time in my life for ME- time. Like I said earlier in this post, my husband is home around 30 minutes awake time per day when he's working nights. The gym close by doesn't have babysitting. And at the gym it's not that easy to get close right away. Plus if you can't go out for a coffee or anything after to follow up and sit down and talk, you won't get to know people there. At the treadmill where everyone is standing with their music in their ears? In the Zumba class? No not really, you don't meet people at the gym that easy nowadays. Still I would love to be able to go to the gym to do something for myself, to find motivation to get my body back in shape. To work out here at home - doesn't work. No motivation and I wouldn't be left alone and wouldn't give myself the time. 

Go shopping alone (or let me say without girlfriends, alone I'm never as I have my kids with me where ever I go) isn't just the same. And when I go shopping with the kids (always...) there is no way to try out clothes, look around the narrow isles of the clothing departments. If you even made it into the store that is with a double stroller. And take them out of the stroller you might think...Are you crazy? How could I possibly be able to look for something with kids running wild, in every direction. Stress like that is better to avoid at all times! If you can't have someone with you that keeps them happy in the stroller while you rush to the fitting room, there is no way that it'll be a success.

What else do I consider would be ME time? Hairdresser, mani/pedi, massages and all the spa stuff..Well, when? It's not possible with 2 kids tagging along. Not at this age. When they were younger and happy in their stroller it was fine. Then they would even fall asleep for an hour or maybe more..not nowadays. And the few days that Chris has off, we try to do something with the family plus all the boring stuff as big grocery shopping, things around the house, errands and appointments. 

Can I put the root canal treatment at the dentist office as ME time? I was there alone without kids, but I still wouldn't consider it a ME- time! I think most of you would agree!

I wish that we had family and friends around. That we had a social life, that our kids could spend a night here or a night there. Get some ME- time because babysitters and help is near. Many people have all this around them every day/every week and might not realize to appreciate it and the help they get.

Well, what can I say, I've said more that enough already!! It's been a lot of complaining and if you made it through the whole post I apologize that there is no happy ending. There is not such thing here in sight. I don't even see where it could change for the better. I am blessed with a loving husband and three wonderful children, food on the table and roof over our heads, so what do I have to complain about??

There are always people out there that have it worse than me. Always. People are suffering, people are dying, people are sick, people loose people due to sickness, people loose even children, people don't even have the chance to get pregnant, people are starving, people are in combat, people miss and worry about people in war zones. My life is wonderful in so many ways, I'm so blessed and I know that and I know to appreciate that.

But - tonight I'll allow myself to cry and to feel sorry for myself - Tomorrow I'll turn that imaginary sand glass over again filled with positive energy and start working on being happy again.

All pictures borrow from Google.

Movie Night At School

 Hop- the movie of the night!

My <3 trio!

Tonight was movie night at Cassie's school again. Last month, Chris happened to be home so he could stay with the twins, but today he's working the night shift, so all kids got to come! First time at the "Movie Theater" for the little ones. Not that it is to compare with the "real deal", but still the same consept. We came just when the movie started at 6.30pm, and the gym was pretty full already.

Here they also have blankets and chairs with them to sit/lay on, and also some seats in the very back for those who prefer that. Last time me and Cassie only had a thin blanket with us, and the floor was cold, so this time, we had a big thick duvet in an easy to clean duvet cover and a big pillow for everyone to share. As the gym floor isn't the cleanest of all floors, I prefer washable covers!

Anyway, the movie this time was Hop, and it was pretty funny for everyone. Perfect to call the movie Hop, as that's what Isabella calls the bunny. Instead of bunny, she says Hop, or more Hop Hop. So that was fun for her! Cassie had already seen it when it came out last year with Chris in the theaters so she knew the movie. Benjamin and Isabella did amazing. We had some cookies for snack and they were watching, eating cookies, getting up from the blanket here and there to dance and to look around at the people. We walked all around when we came in, and got a good spot in the front corner so that the little ones could get up and walk along the side of the room without disturbing anyone else watching.

Still, around 7.45pm they had had enough, they were tired and the little whining started to get a little louder, and it was time to pack up. I don't know for how much longer the movie would go, but I was sorry to say that we had to leave early. My awesome "assistant" Cassie helped to gather everything up and to get them out the door without too much noise. At home it was time to wash up, get them changed into pj's and time for some night milk. They were tired after all the commotion, but I think that they had a great time, it was fun to see how they were amazed of the big screen and all the people.

Now they are in bed sleeping away, dreaming about EB maybe - The Easter Bunny that is..! It's not far away now and they'll hopefully meet him! Hmm now thinking of it, when they translate this movie for instance into Swedish, do they then also change his name to PH - "Pask Haren"? Anyone in Sweden that has seen it that knows? Just hit me, would be fun to know! They can't really keep his name EB and then call him Pask Haren, it just wouldn't make sense. Now thinking of Swedish movie translations, it's always funny what they come up with. Sometimes way off or a totally new title instead of trying to stay close to the origin.

 pictures Google

One translation that I had problems with when it came out in Sweden, was the movie "Tangled". Within a few weeks I saw everywhere on the Facebook statuses of my friends, "Trassel", "Trassel i eftermiddag" etc...It took me a while to figure out WHAT they were talking about! The translation isn't far off, the more correct translation would be "Tilltrasslad" , "Trasslig"  or "Trassligt"  if you consider the verb. Anyway, even if the translation was very close here when you don't know and people don't mention going to the movies, it's hard to connect the dots.

The Little Engine..

picture Google

A while back, I recorded a movie on DVR that I didn't really know, but as it featured a train in it, I just thought I'd record it and check it out later if it was something that the little ones could enjoy watching. They loved it, and I must say that I liked the movie too. I love when movies have a deeper meaning, that they teach you or talk about different subject, and especially when it's children movies. This movie is very much about the important subject "if you believe in yourself you can do anything!" Something everyone and especially children can't hear enough! Benjamin and Isabella ofcourse still hasn't got the patience to sit still for an entire movie, but when they realized that they could pull out the big basket that goes into our coffee table, and use the same basket for a stand in train or wagon, watching turned out to be so much more fun!

I thought it was pretty fun to, to actually see them play together, and laugh together - something that still is pretty rare around here. Sure, they play with and around each other every day all day long, but that they actually on their own set up a game or make jokes and play something nicely and without arguing about toys or who had what first...- well, let's just say, it doesn't happen every day, or every week even!

Well, the game didn't last that long, soon Isabella wanted to lean back and then Benjamin felt crushed and pushed her forward, she got upset and started to cry and pull on him until he started to cry and there was the joyful moment gone! I really hope that we soon will have more of them around here, as this constant and I mean c o n s t a n t arguing is driving me crazy!

Wednesday

I'm sorry that I have been a bit absent here on the blog. Chris was off work Wednesday and yesterday Thursday, and those days we always try to fill with lots of "to-do's" and then there isn't that much time by the computer. And at night when all the kids are in bed and the day goes to it's end, and I normally would spend time by the computer, I try to prioritise spending that time with my man instead! As he's working nights and I'm then alone here at night, It's nice to once in a while also be able to just sit on the sofa and watch something together, or being able to lay in his lap having him play with my hair and just relax and enjoy. Then it doesn't really matter if it's Military Channel or Golf Channel on the TV, I don't care!

 

pictures Google

I just hope that we'll keep cuddling up together on the couch, 

like these senior couples when we get there!

Anyway, from one thing to another! When we moved into this house which we are only renting, we were supposed to send the owner the list of any kind of faults or things that needed fixing, but because the kids were sick and my husband working nights, we just never really got around to it.

Finally in the beginning of March, we did send the list off and now the owner is starting to check all the posts off one by one! There were a lot of small things but mainly annoying has been the fridge and most of all the water heater! It doesn't stay warm, and we have to go and light the burner every day, sometimes several times a day. As it's a gas tank, I haven't felt very safe with this and especially now when it wasn't working properly.

Yesterday morning we had a guy here to repair our fridge. It's been leaking water inside, and luckily it was an easy fix. The small freezer compartment on the top had blocked off the drainage and the water was frozen, but he could fix it and since then we haven't had any problems.

Later around noon, it was time for the next appointment, this time for the water heater. He was actually here already on Tuesday to change out a part, and we thought that the problem would be over, but yesterday morning, the water was cold again. We called and he could get here around noon. When he finally showed up around 1pm, late and it was annoying as the little ones were due to take their nap, he couldn't really fix it. He could change the part that was broken, but that would cost almost as much as a new water heater, so they wanted to let the owner make that decision and then get back to us. That meant that I spent most of my day here at home waiting for and watching over appointments. We had to go grocery shopping, but Chris who had left for the golf course in the morning, came home late and there was no time to do this together, as it would be too close to when Cassie comes home from school, and then we would walk Charlie, homework and dinner..

Around that time, we are just too busy for shopping or other outings. Chris then had to grab a haircut, he has to trim and keep it short military style and cuts it every week. He just came home when we came around the corner with Charlie.

Here, I have to add that I called the owner to ask about him earlier during the day and he was fine, and we walked him again as always. He and Cassie were just fine. Cassie was a little bit on edge and kept looking around for dogs and there is a LOT of dogs in the backyards here, but they can't come out, but they sure make a lot of noise and when a dog barked too loud, she'd jump. But in all, we were all happy after a successful walk with Charlie!!

 pictures from a previous walk

Chris came home just when we were supposed to bring Charlie back, so he joined us for the last part of the walk, so that he also got to see Charlie. I asked the owner if it's possible that we borrow Charlie on Saturday or Sunday afternoon to have him in our yard, so that the kids better could play with him and be around him. And yes, no problem! So now we all are looking forward to that. 

A little bittersweet that will be, as we in the beginning of next week will have to say goodbye to Charlie (and his owner). They own this house and live some parts of the year here, the husband is somehow working within the vegetable business, and some parts of the year they go back to California and the house they have there. So we won't see them for most likely months. 

They are leaving next weekend, and as we are going to California and San Diego for our Mini vacation, we won't be here then. So I'm happy that we can spend some extra time with him this weekend. Such a shame that this is coming to it's end, but it has been a good experience (even after the attack) and I'm glad that Cassie did this. She will have plenty of time to finish off her report as the due date is changed for the week after Spring break! Great, then we'll have much more time and don't have to rush and stress in the evenings next week.

After dinner, Chris went grocery shopping on his own while I took care of the kitchen and home work supervision. We had to skip bath time, as the water heater couldn't be fixed, and because the service person told us that it's been a safety issue with it releasing too much gas and getting too hot when it's hot, and not being able to regulate this, he turned off all switches. I was a bit scared hearing this to say the least! First of all I never liked the idea with gas in the house, then we had to light the tank to get the burner going to receive hot water, what if it would have exploded!!?? It could easily have caused an accident, I'm just so lucky and so very thankful that nothing happened!!